We also want to thank everyone who has been walking this journey with us and who continually provide support for us. Thank you to everyone who has had their own memorial for Lyla, we are amazed everyday by how many lives Lyla has touched and we thank you for taking the time out of your day to honor and pay tribute to our daughter!
A Letter to Our Daughter:
Lyla Giuliana,
My sweet sweet girl. I love you more than words can even begin to describe. I have wanted to be a mommy for so long and was so excited to find out me and your daddy were expecting. Immediately, I started daydreaming about our lives with you. About the clothes I’d be buying, the nursery I’d be decorating, the diapers I’d be changing, the baths I’d be giving, and all the things I’d get to teach you about life. I fantasized about what you’d look like, the person you’d become, the dreams you’d be chasing…I could not wait to experience life with you and care for you in only the way a mommy can.
Our world changed the day we got the news of your condition. It suddenly felt that all those thoughts and dreams I had for you would never come true. The news that you were suddenly ‘incompatible with life’ confused us. We wondered how our little girl, who looked so perfect on an ultrasound, who moved on a daily basis, be incompatible with life???
We were told that triploidy babies almost always miscarry in the first trimester. But you my sweet girl defied the odds and made it to 32 weeks! You are so strong and every day I am in awe of how much fight you had in you. We are so proud of you!
I relish in every memory me and daddy have made with you. I know we will never eat another apple again without thinking of you for the rest of our lives. And birds! I picked out the most perfect birdie bedding set for your nursery because immediately I felt it was ‘you’. I have such a strong connection to you. When I was pregnant and feeling sad, you would always send some light, delicate movements my way, just in time to reassure me and give me peace. When I was feeling so happy about something, you moved steady and frequently, like you were laughing, and feeling happy right along with me.
One of my favorite moments was when we were shopping and I was talking about how cute the bows on the girls bedding was. You gave me some solid noticeable kicks like you were telling me how you too thought the bedding with the bows was so cute and you were so happy to be out shopping with mommy. You are truly my girl and I am so lucky to have been chosen to be your mommy. You are such a special girl that God made an extra special plan for you. You are so lucky because Jesus is going to take care of you. Our sweet Lord Jesus brought me so much peace and comfort while I was carrying you. You are going to be so happy in heaven and know that I will see you again with Jesus. There’s a saying about time in heaven being different… I like to picture you in a field running around and playing with friends, and by the time you turn around, me and daddy will already be there watching you play.
Today is your due date: the day that we planned everything around. These weeks following your birth have been hard because you are not with us. You have touched so many lives and even the lives of people we don’t even know. When hard things like this happen, we are always told that God is good in all He does and that He has a plan for everyone. And that has never felt more true and real than this time we had with you. You are truly a blessing to us and everyone around us and your purpose has been fulfilled.
On the day of your birth I wanted so bad for you to be able to see me. I wanted you to know me. “Lord, I would have loved to hold my daughter on my lap and tell her about You, but since I didn’t get the chance, would you hold her on your lap and tell her about me?” Sweet Lyla, we love you SO much!
I was so scared when I was delivering you, but as soon as I held you, I felt calm and peaceful. You were absolutely beautiful, with light brown hair and some blonde in it, which I wasn’t expecting, and the most beautiful eyes and little legs and little belly. I cried for you because I wanted you with me. My being ached to have you with us. “The reason it hurts so much is because our souls are connected”, you are a part of us. I didn’t want you to go. But I knew you were already gone. “Sometimes love lasts a moment, sometimes love lasts a lifetime, and sometimes a moment is a lifetime.” We loved you a lifetime’s worth in just a few moments. I am so thankful that Jesus has you wrapped in His loving arms and I know you are healthy and made whole as I write this letter. I can’t wait to see you when I get to Heaven. I love you so much. We love you so much.
Love,
Your Mommy & Daddy
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