After signing in, the receptionist asked what doctor we were seeing. I said Dr. Davis because that's who we saw last time and who I was expecting to see today...as a follow up since he was there from the beginning of our level II ultrasound, and the one who did my amnio. She informed me that no, I wouldn't be seeing him today but a Dr. Jenkins, who everyone liked as well. I walk away and look at the receipt from our co-pay and it says Dr. Jenkins, Sherri. We were seeing a female doctor this time. I don't have anything against female doctors but I have always personally preferred male doctors. In my experience they were always more comforting, more informative, always told me what I needed to know, were sensitive and concerned when I needed them to be and never belittled anything I was feeling. I felt like I could trust them and felt they were confident in everything they said. I always specifically request a male doctor whenever I have to change doctors or get a primary doctor in a different division. It was probably ridiculous for me to freak out over this but in the moment, with my nerves, being pregnant, expecting a certain outcome for today with the doctor who knew us from last time, I was not okay with this doctor switch and it threw off the rest of the appointment.
When they came out and called our name I heard a C sounding last name and shot up like that's us!! And started to walk in, then it hit me that my last name is Epperson, NOT my maiden name of Covalt and was so embarrassed. I was like actually that's not us, I thought you said my maiden name, then realized you didn't have me registered as that! That was how frazzled I was this morning.
When it was our turn, it didn't help the situation that when we went into the exam room the ultrasound tech, the same one from last time that I really liked, didn't remember us! I felt so good at our last appointment: I liked the tech, the doctor was in there the whole time she was measuring, as well as doing it himself, talking to us the whole time, making comments, doing our amnio, that I felt so safe and comforted with them. I was wanting that same experience with people who I felt 'knew' us and our situation that it was disappointing to see that we were't even remembered by the tech who saw us less than a month ago.
She began the ultrasound and measurements before the doctor came in. And here's where all the good news is! SHE LOOKS GREAT! Her measurements were still small, she was measuring 20 weeks and I am 23 weeks right now (24 this weekend). And the abdomen is still measuring smaller than the rest of her, but she's growing! And given the fact that at full term she's not expected to exceed 3 pounds, it makes sense that she'll aways be measuring behind/small at every appointment. From what they could tell right now, her head, brain, kidneys, bladder, legs, feet, all of that looks perfect! Last ultrasound the doctor thought he saw something on the heart, but her heart is great! And the amniotic fluid looked perfect so I know her kidneys and bladder are functioning well! She is basically developing so well right now, she's just small. I was praying this would be how the ultrasound would go. That way I could feel like maybe we could possibly bring her home! This is also what is so confusing. There is a long list of abnormalities and deformities that are common with Triploidy babies and she didn't have any of them. If she looks so great and everything is developing and functioning, and she has no abnormalities besides her small size, it's so hard to see that somehow she is still incompatible with life.
When the doctor came in, one of the first things she said was, "So... update me, whats going on?" Umm, did you not read my chart and understand? This is why I wanted to see the doctor we had from last time. I didn't want to have to explain everything to her and make her understand what our journey has been like thus far. She was definitely a nice woman , wasn't rude at all, but I felt like she was matter-of fact and insincere, not fully investing herself in us and our little girl. She then sat down to talk to us and I thought, great, this is what I want, I want to know everything I can and learn what to expect and what's ahead for us. I wanted her to begin talking and tell us everything she knew about this, what her experiences were with this... I wanted to know everything. All she said was for us to ask her questions. My mind went blank and I could not think. I was on the verge of tears and wanted to say, give me 5 minutes so I can cry, then we can continue this appointment. Thankfully Adam started it off and began to ask a couple questions.
We found out that I will have more frequent appointments, about every 2 weeks so they can also keep an eye on my blood pressure as well since Triploidy pregnancies often bring on pre-eclampsia, and that ultrasounds will be done here 'n there to check on her growth. She also said that she expects us to carry her full term into July and if things continue to go well with her development and she breathes well on her own after she's born, we could very well bring her home! I know we never know what will actually happen and we know just as much as the doctors know about this diagnosis, but it was nice to hear!
We only got one photo from the ultrasound, another potty shot saying 'It's a girl', but her head is also included in it. She likes to sit scrunched up with her feet by her head, so the picture shows the top of her head, her booty and her legs up in the air! She's so funny!!
I started laughing, picturing you jump up and realizing that wasn't you guys. Lol! Poor thing.
ReplyDeleteYou got another potty shot cause like you said the tech didn't remember you and she thought she was giving you the news. Lol. Well next time tell them you would like more pictures. Love you!!